About the Orc Problem Field Manual

This is a small reference site for Sir, We Have an Orc Problem, the incremental tower defense game Mumpitz Games released on 28 July 2026.

It exists because the game shipped with no official documentation of its turret stats, and within two weeks the search results filled with pages that state those numbers confidently without saying where they came from. Some of them are wrong. All of them are unfalsifiable, which is worse.

Where the numbers come from

Three places, and every page names which one it used:

Steam's own APIs. Achievement unlock rates, review counts, price, requirements and release date are pulled directly from Steam and stamped with the date we retrieved them. These are facts, not readings.

Named player guides. Turret and ability figures come from stat sheets published by individual Steam users. We name the author, link the guide, and give the date the sheet says it was measured. When two guides disagree, we say so rather than picking the one we like.

The official store description. Mumpitz Games' own text is the authority on how the game describes itself — the upgrade tree working from every run won or lost, for instance, is their claim and we attribute it that way.

What we do when we do not know

We write that we do not know, and we say what would be needed to find out.

Every page here ends with a short section listing what is missing from it. Upgrade tree costs, per-level enemy counts, how stats scale between tiers — none of that is published anywhere we can verify, so none of it appears here as a number. A blank is honest. A guess formatted as a table is not.

What this site is not

It is not affiliated with Mumpitz Games and it is not a wiki anyone can edit. It is a small set of pages maintained by one person who plays the game, reads the community guides, and checks both against Steam's data before publishing.

If you find something on here that contradicts what you see in the build, the build is right and we would like to hear about it.

Getting in touch

Corrections, missing sources and disagreements are all welcome through the contact page. Corrections that come with a source get applied fastest.